December 2006 Newsletter

We have all heard Alexander Popes famous line “to err is human to forgive is divine”. How many of you find this to be a challenge? One of the reasons that this is so is because of the stories we tell ourselves about the person involved or about the situation. Rather than looking at just the facts or “what is”, we add to the facts and embellish the story, thus making us right and the other person wrong and justifying the action/s that we are taking. Stories can be very seductive and insidious. They have a way of hooking our emotions and cause us pain, suffering and turmoil. We then take actions based on the emotions that have aroused anger, resentment, jealousy, rejection, abandonment and a victim mentality.

How can we counter act this? We can ask ourselves this question “what actually went on?” It takes great courage to look at the truth, because it means that we have to take responsibility for our actions. This means seeing that we have created out reality, and by taking the necessary steps, we can change that reality. It is easier to sweep what we don’t want to look at under the carpet. Instead we must face up to our illusions and learn to see beyond them.

When we have the experience of being hurt e.g. betrayal or rejection, we need to take a look at our beliefs. We have layers of stories that feed into these hurts, believing we are not loveable, not OK, powerless, or that we are a failure. Over long years, we have unconsciously and automatically repeated these thoughts over and over again. Thus they have become our beliefs, and eventually our identity.

If we believe that someone has hurt us, remember that no one else has the power to do this. We can however take whatever someone says or does to hurt ourselves. If we believe that people can hurt us, we are operating from a victim basis.

If we were to ask our parents or siblings about an incident that took place in your childhood each of us would have a different story. Which one is true? None. Why? They are just points of view, none more provable than another.

Other people’s actions are not about us. These actions relate to their own beliefs and ideas. Understanding this causes us to “see what is”. I begin to understand that the other person is not attacking me. That person is also suffering, and makes “hurtful” comments and takes action out of lack of awareness. People feel our unspoken expectations energetically, and when we stop having these expectations, they no longer need to defend against them, so our relationships improve.

How can we free ourselves to move into forgiveness?
Write out the story, over and over again. When we read this melodrama over and over again, it will eventually cause us to laugh
Notice the words we have used. Do we use the language of victimhood? We can bring into awareness the words and thoughts that create us in the role of the victim, that continue to fuel our lives of misery. Awareness is the first step!

1. By highlighting the fear based words –betrayed, abandoned, rejected, we can learn to see what is fuelling our negative beliefs.

2. By asking ourselves, “Who would I be if I didn’t have this story? What is it about this story that I am attached to? We can learn to unravel the structure of negativity we have built, and begin to move into detachment.

Detachment has no emotion and no judgement.

For as long as we remain attached to them, our stories define us. They limit the possibilities of who we believe we can be. Yet they are just stories, not who we are.

We need to stop our self-blaming stories as well. Since in every moment we are all doing the best we can, based on the beliefs and consciousness we have at the time, there is no reason for guilt or regret.
Contact brenda@peacefulinterlude.com or phone 604-572-1136
www.peacefulinterlude.com/services.htm

Through the link below you can watch the related movie on “With forgiveness”, which I hope you enjoy. If you wish, you can also sign up for the free 52 day program on forgiveness, for yourself and others.

To View the With Forgiveness Movie Go Here Now!

http://www.empoweredspirit.com/cgi-bin/arp3/arp3-t.pl?l=34&c=7316
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