The Attitude of Gratitude–How to Cultivate A Grateful Heart

There’s a beautiful praise song that I recall singing years ago called Give Thanks with a Grateful Heart that came to my mind this morning. I asked myself what it means to live with the attitude of gratitude, and how I could cultivate a grateful heart. I realized that it begins by self reflection and contemplating on gratitude.

It made me think of this saying by Albert Einstein “A hundred times a day I remind myself that my inner and outer life depends on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the measure as I have received and am still receiving.”

The other quote is by Dietrich Bonhoeffer who said “In ordinary life we hardly realize that we receive a great deal more than we give, and that it is only with gratitude that life becomes rich. It is very easy to overestimate the importance of our achievements in comparison with what we owe others.”

Greg Krech author of Niakan: Gratitude, Grace and the Japanese Art of self expression is one of the leading authorities in Niakan in the USA. Niakan is a form of the Japanese art of self reflection which translates as “inside observation,” or “seeing one’s self through the mind’s eye.”

It is structured to focus your attention on your own conduct in relationship with parents, siblings, friends, partners, co-workers and neighbors. It also encourages you to accept life’s events rather than become mired in your feelings about them.

The self reflection is based on three questions that you ask yourself in relationship to your partner, parents, siblings, children and friends.
1.    What did I receive from others today__________?
2.    What did I give to others today __________?
3.    What troubles and difficulties did I cause others today __________?

Take the first of the three questions; you could have received a phone call from your mother to see how you were doing, your children took the garbage out this morning without being asked to do so, and your boss congratulated you on a job well done. Often you may not pay any attention to these small things and take them for granted, and notice only the blocks and problems that come your way. Had you given attention to those little blessings you would have been strengthened at the support that came your way.

The second self reflection question is what have I given to others today? This could be a smile or a word of encouragement that you gave a colleague, giving a lift to a neighbor, or baby sitting your granddaughter. Reflecting on this question gives you a conscious realization of the  contribution that you gave to others.

The third question can be a bit of a challenge. You may  notice when others are late and have kept you waiting, or someone taking your parking spot, yet you may not even be aware when you are the source of the problem or  think that it wasn’t such a big deal,  justifying  it with some excuse.

However this is a question that needs to be taken seriously. It takes courage and a willingness to look at yourself with truth and honesty. If you fail to do so, you will continue to cause pain to others by your thoughtlessness, and continue to be the source of someone else’s suffering. This should in no way cause you to beat upon your self, or  cause you to feel shame or guilt. The whole point of self reflection is to increase your state of awareness.

Self reflection on these three questions is one of the best ways to cultivate a grateful heart. It will generate in you a feeling of gratitude. It will arouse in you the desire to give something back, not out of obligation but because you are overflowing with a grateful heart for all the support and love that you have received from others.

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